Its winters once again :)

I am so happy that winters are here again. i simply love almost everything about winters. Warm Sweaters,Hot food,Warm hugs, Pink cheeks, Cool Fog,the early morning Sun , hot ginger tea,Hot soup in the evening , my list can simply go on and on. ...
Thank you God for these beautiful winters

Developing my style

Today, i was thing about me and my art style.As i have finally joined my art classes, i now want to grow as an artist. i have been working a lot on copy works but know i have an immediate urge to find myself in my art. Know i want to know what is my style, what do i like to draw??
To began with, i have seen my self making a lot of geometric compositions when ever i have a pencil in my hand, so i have a feeling that somewhere may be i like to make geometric compositions. I feel when geometric composition making is such a spontaneous thing to do, its like playing a game alone, u draw a line and then start adding elements to it and then all of a sudden ur painting or compositions start telling you , what to add to it...
i feel at this moment of my art , i like making these geometric compositions.
Now i feel i should start studying about geometric compositions and and i might develop something which will be uniquely mine. I so wish.....:)
Best of luck to my self.:)

Learning art is one of the most satisfying thing one can do..

close to my desire..:)

Hii,

How i felt today, when i was very close to the my desire is something i want to talk about .. I think every one feels this way. Like in my case my desire is  to learn and understand art from a particular institute, where i fortunately went today and asked for details of admission... I felt amazing ( please excuse me for my poor word power). i wanted to touch every thing, i wanted to feel every furniture of that place, i wanted go inside the studio and be friends with artists who were already working there, i wanted to sit on the stool and take the feel , i wanted to spend time there... I felt as if i belong to that place. I was really nervous with the thoughts of  talking to the head of the department who himself is a renowned artist but at the same time my mind and my heart were telling a different story...It was just amazing and i truly wish that i become a part of that esteemed institute and make them proud to teach me...
Thank u universe to give me this experience..

The only thing that exist in this universe is Law of Attraction

Hii every one,

I am back after almost 6 months with heart full of happiness , joy, abundance , and love....:) I am really very happy with life...
After a long depression days of almost 3 months, i am now back to mu life with a bang.Actually my best friend introduced me to Law of attraction ,"The secret".This book and movie has literally  changed my life.
It have realized that life is not about compromising , rather life is about having all you want to have.You can have all what you want , be what you really want to be, and do all what you want to do , but only condition you need to fulfill is you really want to do and have all this....
From the moment i have read this book , my life has changed and i recommend this book to every one in this universe...Please read this and be what you want to be...:)

relationships... Can we just break them and forget???

Relationships... very difficult, very important and very precious part of our lives.Relationship can be of any kind Friends,Parental,Brotherly,Godly or otherwise, any relationship is as important as soul to body ...
I am a very emotional person , i get attached too quickly and  specially to human beings.. i have never been able to judge my self , if this is good thing about me or bad. But the truth is " This is what i am , i like it or not".
I have seen people walk in and out of life like anything and ( that is one of the main reasons for me have a bond with God), and i wonder how its so easy for people to just go away, leave us behind and move on.. I dont know whether to appreciate them for there so called 'Detachment' or curse them. It has always been very difficult for me to move on , very very difficult. or should i say i never move on... i am just not able to forget, and the problem is i easily forgive and with forgiveness comes acceptance and hence i dont move on...:) :(

Can we love God for the sake of loving him....

I went to community prayer today , which fortunately i have been attending from my childhood days. While i was in the prayer, as i am going through a bad phase of life i was continuously wishing for his grace. After it was over, i remembered how i used to love God without any questions and expectations before, and today i am full of questions and lots and lots of wishes that i want him to fulfill.
In difficult times of our lives, if don't go to him for help,then whom should we go to.. We have been taught that he is the ultimate and he has all the power in world .And this is what i did today, i told him, i am in great trouble and need help.. i don't know whether he will help me or not,but i will pray and pray till he solves my problems .
Now the question of loving him for the sake of loving, is i realized is only possible when a person is free of all his worries and is happy and satisfied with his day to day life....

my first attempt to feel ok...

when i woke up today , i had a feeling to help myself with this thing of feeling fine....so i decided that i will go and join the sketch club at modern art gallery and also visit an exhibition at the same gallery. i have been procrastinating this thing from a long time,i had many logical reasons to do that,like earlier i had my art classes on Sundays, then when i dropped my art classes because of my so called financial trouble, i was way to worried and stressed out to join any kind of leisure sketching classes and i thought meeting my best friend and sitting & discussing the problems is the only way... but as i said earlier we both are trying to work on this thing of normalcy i realized doing sketching and attending classes the thing i love to do, and this is the only way i can feel happy and NORMAL...so i just went and attended the class and i just loved it , it helped me to forget the pain of what i feel these days and gave me break from every thing...it was blessing in disguise.... i just want my self to attend these classes every Sunday without fail....

Having a normal day is the most difficult these days....

After the successful failure of project life for third time, here i am with wishing for just a normal day...
I dont know who to blame, god or myself but who ever has done this mess should be punished to death.these days me and my friend who is unfortunately going through a same situation are praying and trying every single day lead a normal day. From past 3 months we have been continuously talking about the  problems in our life and trying to find a way out, but all oue efforts seems to be going nowhere..
We are here with no job, no partner and no money..:( its the most ridiculous phase of my life ..
So we decided to be proactive and take an initiative of finding happiness by doing small little things which we used to do and try and feel normal...but believe me its soooooooo damn difficult.... i made cookies today and spent the rest of the time trying to water color but i simply failed in feeling any better.. :(

why god makes us feel he doesn't exist

Its very strange,from the day we are born, we are taught about a power which is called God ..we are taught that there is a someone like a father to protect, love, care and who is far more powerful then any thing and every thing we can even imagine.but then when we start expecting things from that power , things dont seem to be the way we were taught and we get upset and unhappy and start doubting the total existence of almighty...
I dont personally feel that there is no God but i want to request him to make us feel his presence so that we feel more confident and more sure about things which had happened with us and we can feel he is really really there to take care..
i want to request God to see us and have mercy on us , atleast once in a while if not always..

feeling impatient

I feel really impatient to deal of people , people who were supposed to be my ideals but unfortunately they are last people on earth i would ever choose to be my ideals..ofcourse i am talking about my parents,my elders...

i regret to feel this way but thats the way i feel about them..

with course of time i have realized that they are scared of my being better then them and they try to do every thing possible to stop me grow and progress...

self realization -- about many things

i guess today was a day  for self realizations.. i had a discussion with a friend which was mainly dominated by me telling her my 'biography' :) .i was telling the things i remember from my childhood till date, about all the people i met, the effort i have put in to make my relationships work.and when i say relationships, it means each and every relationship i had ,with my parents,my friends etc..i have realized i have put in a lot . i would have been in a far far better position i my life i would have just concentrated on my own life then on working on my relationships..
anyways i have learned the hard way.

we have to do it... ALL OVER AGAIN

After  thinking a lot over the problems i have right now in my hand i have finally come to a conclusion.After failing this time, i thought i will change my way of doing things,i have to take a route which i left long before..i decided that i will not be adamant about choosing the right way, i will just compromise and just do it.But as soon as i decided this thing,my body,my soul and my mind started reacting.I started feeling so low i cant define and express in words. this compromise thing is so so difficult.and today after 2 days i spoke to a friend of mine and after a long discussion i have personally understood that i cant compromise. doing right thing have become a habit now that i cant change. 

i know i have to start once again, and when i say once again i know what i am talking about, here i am talking about starting from scratch .but doing it all again,somehow feels more easy then compromising......

so,here i am with my decision of doing it all over again

Praying again

Prayer...Prayer is something i do to feel connected with the energy which seems to be very very far away from this world..i have believed that when you connect to that energy ,energy of god which is the most positive energy of the universe,the negative parts of your energy get converted into positive parts and you tend to become positive,and we all know how important it is to be positive in this world full of suffering and pain.We need to be positive to take this pain with patience. With experience i have realized that we can't escape this pain and suffering but can only find ways to handle it.And the best way to do this is to feel positive,have faith and believe things will eventually work out...

feeling blank

For past few days i have been feeling very blank.. I guess my box of ideas,positive thoughts,prayers and love has emptied and now what should i do , i don't know..
I have always thought i am a person who believes in living,taking chances and trying ,trying very very hard,but somehow today i have no strength left to believe in what i used to believe.I have a situation here with which i thought i have already fought and won but it has come up again .. what to do ??????